Chrome Dome Mike Kimbro of Grapevine, TX posing with a sprinkle donut.

Doughnut Shop Baker

 

Song lyrics by Chrome Dome Mike Kimbro

 

A parody of the song “Guardian Angel” by The Brothers Dimm

 

BPR <<< Click for the Bad Poetry Reading

 

 

Guardian Angel Lyrics

INTRO & VERSE 1 SAMPLE

VERSE 1  

How did I wind up with such a loser

Man, we’ve got nothing here for breakfast.

You’re about as much help as a migraine

Let's get dressed and stop by “Doughnut Planet”

I really hate to wake you up

A chocolate twist, blueberry cake.

Especially when you’re so hung-over

Raspberry filled glazed are my favorite.

But this may be my one chance

Plus I’ll need a spinkle and

To reach you when you’re slightly sober

We can’t forget pigs in a blanket.

 

VERSE 1 & CHORUS 1 SAMPLE

VERSE 2 - based on verse 1

How did I wind up with such a loser

This guy's got the ideal business model.

You’re about as much help as a migraine

Just try not to call it oriental.

I really hate to wake you up

So complex and yet so simple.

Especially when you’re so hung-over

Perfected by folks from Korea.

But this may be my one chance

Hi gains from low capital

To reach you when you’re slightly sober

While crafting a true panacea.

 

 

CHORUS 1

Wake up

Stand up...

God, you look like death

Sir, please take a bow.

You’ve got

And take...

to get out of bed

Our money right now.

Why is

Before...

It always seven o’oclock in the afternoon

You close at one o’clock in the afternoon.

What do you think you’re doing

Don’t you know that you’re spreading

You’re supposed to fear to tread there

So much joy from that strip mall store

Guardian Angel

Doughnut Shop Baker

 

VERSE 2 SAMPLE

VERSE 3

You’re not quite the model that I ordered

This meal wasn’t prescribed by my doctor

I just can’t seem to keep you out of trouble

There’s sugar, fat, and carbs, but not much fiber.

Cause every time I look for you

While I'll admit that I’m amazed

You’re running after some blonde nymphet

By this heavenly aroma, but

Or I’ll find you on some bar stool

Feed me a couple pumpkin glazed and

Drinking till you’re ultraviolet…

Watch me slide into a coma.

 

 

CHORUS 2

Wake up

Tell us…

God, you look like death

How you stay so slim.

You’ve got

You must…

to get out of bed

Work out at the gym.

Why is

I have...

It always seven o’clock in the afternoon

To loosen my belt at the sight of an éclair.

What do you think you’re doing

How is it that you keep from

Staggering in at 4:00 am

Weighing in at 400 pounds…

Guardian Angel

Doughnut Shop Baker

 

 BRIDGE 1 & INSTRUMENTAL BRIDGE SAMPLE

BRIDGE 1

I guess you try

I know you fry.

I know you mean well

But you fry so well.

Do you know why

If that’s a crime

They say that good intentions

We’ll see old Colonel Sanders’

Pave the road to hell

Whiskered face in hell.

 

 

INSTRUMENTAL BRIDGE

 

BRIDGE 2 & END SAMPLE

BRIDGE 2

And one day ..

Late to work…

when the stars have turned against me

Just in from a night of 'horning'.    [Def.:  That which one does when horny.]

And my feet…

What a jerk…

are slipping from beneath me

Boss issued me a warning

Don’t forget you promised that if I

But when he finally does get wise, to

call you’ll be always near by

All these weaknesses I hide, and

Though I doubt (are you listening)

H R drops the guillotine

I doubt if you will ever even hear me

At least I’ll have a place to spend my mornings.

 

 

CLIMAX & CLOSE

Wake up

To those…

God, you look like death

On the low carb craze

You’ve got

You know…

to get out of bed

That it’s just a phase.

Don’t you…

This guy…

Remember

Gives good glaze.

You said…

I can’t…

You would never

Offer higher praise.

Fail me…

Hey Dude…

If I needed you

Why not step it up

Here now…

And do…

is the hour I do

Something radical.

Wake up…

Like say…

 are you with me still

“A Rosemary Twist”

Wake up,

But not…

can you hear me

“A Tuna Filled”

Your watch…

That would…

has stopped.

Be gross.

It’s seven o-clock

Man, just feast your eyes

in the afternoon.

On that assortment.

What did you think you were proving

How can I think of improving

We’re a long way from heaven…

On that which is perfection…

Guardian Angel

Doughnut Shop Baker

Guardian Angel

Doughnut Shop Baker

Guardian Angel

Donut Shop Baker

 

Copy of a reciept from Kountry Donuts of Grapevine, Texas.  Located on the corner of Main and Northwest Hwy, they do a great job with their blueberry cake doughnuts.

 

The Brothers Dimm are: 

 

David Bateman on keyboards, accordion, string and orchestral arrangements, and backing vocals.

 

Drayfus Grayson on guitars, bass and vocals.

 

Paul Marangoni on drums and cymbals, percussion, and backing vocals.

 

CD cover for the album To Oblivion by the California band The Brothers Dimm, from which Guardian Angel is my favorite song.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Paying tribute to the genius of "Weird Al", the most popular musical treatment of the doughnut subject can be found in his song "Albequerque".