A Feminine Caller ID

 

An original poem by Chrome Dome Mike Kimbro

 

Please read along to my Spoken Verse Performance.

 

 

VERSE 1

 

Some guys work on their masculinity,

 

As if  it's their most important mission.

 

Yet many allow femininity,

 

In their daily verbal transmissions.

 

 

VERSE 2

 

The tone at the salvage yard is manly,

 

Because it's used auto parts which we sell.

 

Calls from John, Frank, 'Gordo' and Stanley.

 

Though Caller ID makes it hard to tell.

 

 

CHORUS

 

A girl's name displays,

 

On the telephone screen.

 

Such as Jill Mourney

 

Or Misty Finkelstein.

 

If a guy has that phone,

 

There's a reasonable chance,

 

That he doesn't live alone.

 

But Jill or Misty wear the pants.

 

Or he could be avoiding that drama.

 

By staying at home with his mama.

 

Living a life that's care free,

 

With a feminine Caller ID.

 

From the Star Wars world, a photo of the cell phone of jedi master Anakin Skywalker, who was sharing the cell phone plan of Padme Amidala, before becoming Darth Vadar.

 

VERSE 3

 

Long, long ago, and really far away,

 

The Dark Side and the Jedi fought it out.

 

Anakin wanted power to save Padme,

 

And things went to hell when he sought it out.

 

 

VERSE 4

 

He called up the Chancellor for more info.

 

But the Chancellor thought it was so amusing,

 

You see, Padme had arranged the plan they enrolled,

 

So her name was on the number he was using.

 

 

CHORUS

 

A girl's name displays,

 

On the telephone screen.

 

Such as Jill Mourney

 

Or Misty Finkelstein.

 

If a guy has that phone,

 

There's a reasonable chance,

 

That he doesn't live alone.

 

But Jill or Misty wear the pants.

 

Or he could be avoiding that drama.

 

By staying at home with his mama.

 

Living a life that's care free,

 

With a feminine Caller ID.

 

 

BRIDGE

 

If my lady grabs my phone,

 

And sees calls from the same female.

 

The assumption might extend to sex.

 

To such behavior she is prone,

 

So you need to use your email.

 

Lest she deletes some unread texts.

 

 

VERSE 5

 

Here's a way to mark one's territory:

 

Call a rival and act like you're bowed up.

 

Make them aware that you know their story.

 

But they'll just laugh if a girls name showed up.

 

 

VERSE 6

 

This happened to me recently. He said:

 

"You don't know who the hell you're fucking with."

 

Well dude, you told me that your name is Fred,

 

But Caller ID suggests that you're Jane Smith.

 

So which is it?

 

 

CHORUS

 

A girl's name displays,

 

On the telephone screen.

 

Such as Jill Mourney

 

Or Misty Finkelstein.

 

If a guy has that phone,

 

There's a reasonable chance,

 

That he doesn't live alone.

 

But Jill or Misty wear the pants.

 

Or he could be avoiding that drama.

 

By staying at home with his mama.

 

Living a life that's care free,

 

With a feminine Caller ID.

 

 

VERSE 7

 

There's a guy who's had a lot of girlfriends.

 

Of course, I speak of President Trump.

 

If "Melania" appeared on their end,

 

Clean out of their pajamas they would jump.

 

 

CHORUS

 

The name of a woman,

 

Is what the telephone says.

 

Such as Monica Yoeman,

 

Or Vickie Ramirez.

 

If a guy has that phone,

 

There's a reasonable chance,

 

That he doesn't live alone.

 

But Monica or Vickie wear the pants.

 

Or he could be avoiding that drama.

 

By staying at home with his mama.

 

Living a life that's care free,

 

With a feminine Caller...

 

Hey, you'll never see a baller...

 

With a feminine Caller ID.

 

 

The End.

 

 

Copyright Michael Kimbro 2018.  All rights reserved.

 

 

Keywords: Poems about cell phones, Poetry of masculinity, Poems about junk yards.