Mistletoe At Work          [Part 3 of my Holiday Season Trilogy]

 

An original poem by Chrome Dome Mike Kimbro

 

Please read along to my Spoken Verse Performance.

 

 

VERSE 1

 

Today, in the workplace environment,

 

There exists a new enlightenment.

 

Due to high visibility harassments.

 

 

Now, when the trousers of titans drop,

 

The shocked underlings yell out: "Stop!"

 

So we'll see far fewer such enactments.

 

 

CHORUS

 

So listen up, men.

 

You'll be gone in a wink.

 

If you dip your pen,

 

In the company ink.

 

Insure that your feelings,

 

Are squeaky clean,

 

And under wraps.

 

Because you're now dealing,

 

With leafy green,

 

Bubby traps.

 

When you see mistletoe at work.

 

 

VERSE 2

 

If someone were to request my opinion,

 

About bosses hitting on female minions,

 

After the transgressions of a powerful few.

 

 

While I'm the first to add injury to insult,

 

Passing judgment here would be difficult,

 

Til I've walked a mile in the harasser's shoes.

 

 

VERSE 3

 

But if a boss can't help being a sexist bore,

 

He might as well head for the exit door.

 

Because HR's patience has shrank as of late.

 

 

The "Get Out of Jail" card they used to get,

 

After taunting females with a lame line of shit,

 

Has vanished. Now lengthy bread lines await.

 

 

VERSE 4

 

And from details of what the press is reporting,

 

There will be a reduction in consorting,

 

Between the peons and the big wigs.

 

 

And men will stop sharing, with their work crush,

 

Jokes which would make Any Schumer blush,

 

Concerning topics like male twigs and figs.

 

 

CHORUS

 

So listen up, men.

 

You'll be gone in a wink.

 

If you dip your pen,

 

In the company ink.

 

Insure that your feelings,

 

Are squeaky clean,

 

And under wraps.

 

Because you're now dealing,

 

With leafy green,

 

Bubby traps.

 

When you see mistletoe at work.

 

 

VERSE 5 - "An Ode to Coworker Stalking"

 

Here's a new way to handle things.

 

When a gal at work makes your heart sing,

 

But telling her so would get you canned, for sure.

 

 

Follow her around, but stay back pretty far.

 

Then when she stops to put gas in her car,

 

Pull over into the stall beside her.

 

 

Photo of an Elvis impersonator in front of the statue of Elvis Presley in the lobby of the Westgate Resort and Casino in Las Vegas, Nevada.

VERSE 6

 

If you're short on the small talk used to flirt,

 

Go on and complement her cool tennis skirt.

 

Then say you prefer Wimbledon to the Super Bowl.

 

 

If she seems interested in that line of thought,

 

Tell her about the tickets which you bought,

 

Where they impersonate the King of Rock 'n Roll.

 

 

But even if that filly takes the bait,

 

And the weekend you share turns out just great,

 

When you get back to work, best avoid the mistletoe.

 

Because you know...

 

 

CHORUS

 

Now listen up, men.

 

You'll be gone in a wink.

 

If you dip your pen,

 

In the company ink.

 

Insure that your feelings,

 

Are squeaky clean,

 

And under wraps.

 

Because you're now dealing,

 

With leafy green,

 

Bubby traps.

 

When you see mistletoe at work.

 

The End

 

Copyright Michael Kimbro 2017.  All rights reserved.

 

 

Keywords:  Poems about sexual harassment, Dating coworkers, Workplace dating poetry.