Author:  Diana Falzone   

Image Credit:  Fox News TV personality and radio host Diana Falzone's Maxim article about Skype sex, which is the inspiration for these song lyrics about on-line sex.

My Baby Gives Good Screen

 

Song lyrics by Chrome Dome Mike Kimbro

 

Structure:  Accent points align for verses 1,3, 5a & 5b, as do those for 2, 4, 6 & 7.

 

Read along to my Spoken Verse Performance!

 

 

VERSE 1

 

When I’m on the road traveling’ cross this land

 

My girl back at home attends State U.

 

And while we stay in touch as much as we can

 

Not seeing her just makes me blue-o-o

 

Not seeing her just makes me blue.

 

 

VERSE 2

 

Yeah we often speak in the language of love.

 

To spice it up, when we talk on the phone.

 

But if I cannot see her, as she talks to me,

 

It’s hard not to feel alo-o-one.

 

It’s hard not to feel alone.

 

 

VERSE 3

 

Then our whole world changed when we learned of Skype,

 

How it uses a little webcam.

 

To capture pics and sound then send them on out.

 

To towns like Flower Mound and Amsterdam.

 

Or Sante Fe and Birmingham.

 

 

VERSE 4

 

Once we started to film what’s under the neck,

 

Things heated up, if you know what I mean.

 

Sure it’s a little sleazy, but hey what the heck,

 

Cause my baby gives good scree-ee-een.

 

Cause my baby gives good screen.

 

 

VERSE 5 – option A

 

Listen all you guys with a real sweet pet

 

Know that romance is still a big deal.

 

So as you have your date night fun on the net,

 

You gotta give her more than she can get,

 

By logging onto Chat Roulette.     [Note:  Here's South Park's take on the ChatRoulette issue.]

 

 

VERSE 5 – option B

 

Pushin’ Hi-Def frames up a T-1 line,

 

Gives me detail just short of pristine.

 

And while this whole thing costs an arm and a leg,

 

It helps my baby give good scree-ee-een.

 

My sweety baby gives good screen.

 

 

OPTIONAL BRIDGE      [Slowing down a bit]

 

In the year 2929     (tympani roll and mariachi trumpet)

 

Remote sex is gonna be fine     (tympani roll and mariachi trumpet)

 

No bandwidth issues as we survey the stars,

 

Cause we’ll all have avatars.     [pick it back up…bop, bop, bop, bop]

 

 

ALTERNATIVE OPTIONAL BRIDGE       [Slowing down a bit]

 

In the next millennium,

 

Remote relations are gonna be fun.

 

No bandwidth issues as we survey the stars,

 

And we’ll all have avatars.     [pick it back up…bop, bop, bop, bop]

 

 

VERSE 6

 

While some talent in art is always preferred.

 

The acting's not something we criticize.

 

If you're in different countries, just be undeterred.

 

No need for a script just improvise.

 

You won't need a safety word.

 

 

VERSE 7

 

I just gotta text: “Hey, I’m waiting for you.”

 

Sure know what’s next, since it came from my queen.

 

So I crank up my PC and get comfortable,

 

Cause my baby gives good scree-ee-een.

 

Yeah, my baby gives good screen.

 

 

CLOSE OUT

 

So if you’re a rookie

 

At long distance nookie

 

Just try it and you’ll do fine.

 

 

Here’s one word of advice,

 

Just one round should suffice,

 

When you’re sexin’ it up on-line.

 

THE END

 

 

Copyright © Michael Kimbro 2012.  All rights reserved.

 

 

 

Keywords:  Poems about skype sex, songs about long distance relationships, poems about technology, songs about avatars, skype sex poetry, a skype sex ballad.