What if She Were A Spy?     [Part 3 of My People of Color Trilogy]

 

A poem by Chrome Dome Mike Kimbro

 

Please read along to my "Spoken Verse Performance".

 

 

VERSE 1

 

From Coeur díAlene comes a tale,

 

Of a gal unsure of her ethnicity.

 

Most look at this as another ďfailĒ.

 

Merely a question of authenticity.

 

 

VERSE 2

 

Here in Texas we smell conspiracy,

 

In every secret which is uncovered.

 

On the chick from Spokane, hereís my theory:

 

What if Rachel was deep undercover?

 

 

CHORUS

 

What if she were a spy?

 

What if she were a spy?

 

No other excuse makes any sense.

 

Itís so abstruse, this Afro pretense.

 

But that pseudo-sister sure was sly.

 

And thatís why,

 

Iím thinking she was a spy.

 

 

VERSE 3

 

But whatís the group through which sheís employed?

 

Maybe the FBI, or some foreign nation?

 

But hereís a question she might avoid:

 

Could it be the Klan or the Aryan Nations?

 

 

VERSE 4

 

What if a phone call was used to activate?          [Note: The Soviets did that in Telefon.]

 

Which brings us to my personal favorite:

 

Could she have been a Manchurian candidate?

 

If Iím right, you know Iím gonna savor it.

 

 

BRIDGE

 

While all this might be new,

 

In Washington State or West Idaho.

 

Here in North Texas all we do,

 

Is point to Van Winkle's best video.        [Note:  Here's the Jim Carrey parody.]

 

 

VERSE 5

 

When the facts are in, and itís like Iíve guessed,

 

Then thereíll be two men which you can thank.

 

Of course, thereís Jeff Selle of the Coeur díAlene Press.

 

And Chrome Dome Mike at the Texas Think Tank.

 

 

VERSE 6

 

But while Jeff is collecting his Pulitzer Prize,

 

I've bought into Rachel's unique persuasion.

 

I'll fight to the death so you can exercise,

 

Your right to be a Jew or an Asian.

 

 

CHORUS

 

What if she were a spy?

 

What if she were a spy?

 

No other excuse makes any sense.

 

Itís so abstruse, this Afro pretense.

 

But that pseudo-sister sure was sly.

 

And thatís why,

 

Iím thinking she was a spy.

 

 

VERSE 7

 

You know I can't wait to see SNL spoof,

 

Rachel's infamous misrepresentation.

 

But folks, please don't throw anything on the roof,

 

Of Coeur díAlene's new tourist destination.

 

 

VERSE 8

 

But I can understand her motivation.

 

When my hair grayed, my self esteem took a dive.

 

I shaved my head.  She stopped being Caucasian.

 

Now we're sevens, up from being fives.

 

 

CHORUS

 

What if she were a spy?

 

What if she were a spy?

 

No other excuse makes any sense.

 

Itís so abstruse, this Afro pretense.

 

But that pseudo-sister sure was sly.

 

And thatís why,

 

Iím thinking she was a spy.

 

 

Copyright © Michael Kimbro 2015.  All rights reserved.

 

 

My favorite song with a Coeur díAlene, Idaho reference is "Jane" by Bushwhack, samples of which can be heard on the page for my love song lyrics "Jen, Gin, Gin!".

 

Thank you for your time and attention.

 

 

 

Keywords:  Poems about Rachel Dolezal, Poems about Coeur díAlene, ID, Poems about the NAACP, Songs about conspiracy theories, Poems about the Aryan Nations, Conspiracy theory poetry, Poems about racial identity, Song lyrics about the Ku Klux Klan.