An Applause Lament

An original poem by Chrome Dome Mike Kimbro

Consider reading along to my Spoken Verse Performance.

INTRO

If, like me, you feel that applause is a curse.

That standing up to clap is somewhat perverse.

And noisy crowds should quiet down, or disperse.

Dude, I've got a mantra that you should rehearse:

Applause be gone from here.

VERSE 1

Every four years brings the convention season.

Folks gather for a political cause.

One DNC was best! And here's the reason:

In 2020, it had no applause.

CHORUS

When something impressive,

Prompts you to be expressive,

And you feel the urge to cheer.

Think: "Applause be gone from here."

VERSE 2

Everywhere I go, I try to discourage,

The faithful from cheering during the service.

Parroting pastors, repeating their verbiage.

The closer to noon, the more I get nervous.

VERSE 3

Like minded folks feel my strategy's perfect,

For quelling ruckus gestures, which annoy us.

A small amount of chatter has the effect,

Of pacifying the crowd's need for noise, thus...

CHORUS

When something impressive,

Prompts you to be expressive,

And you feel the urge to cheer.

Think: "Applause be gone from here."

BRIDGE

At conventions, we sought salvation,

From constant clapping's aggravation.

Then 2020 brought a revelation.

Crowds can still show their appreciation,

Without resorting to repeated ovation.

Audiences show more consideration,

Observing just one single stipulation.

Say five words, before any recitation.

And they are: Applause be gone from here.

Now everybody...

Put your hands together for the bridge.

Oh. Sorry. I couldn't help myself.

VERSE 4

Save those you care about butt loads of time,

By stopping what I call "applause machines".

Just don't yell: "Fire", because that's a crime.

Although...the result may justify the means.

VERSE 5

If I were the judge, you'd be found 'Not guilty.'

For attempting to break up a meeting.

Since I find clapping to be downright silly.

And the time that we're given can be fleeting.

VERSE 6

Should your aversion to clapping be pronounced,

Get with the organizer, and make it clear.

Before any proceeding, let it be announced:

"Please honor: Applause be gone from here."

CHORUS

When something impressive,

Prompts you to be expressive,

And you feel the urge to cheer.

Think: "Applause be gone from here." 

The End

Copyright © Michael Kimbro 2021.  All rights reserved.