An Ode to Foot Odor
An original poem by Chrome Dome Mike Kimbro
Inspired while listening to the song "Don't Let Me Get Me" by Pink
Consider reading along to my Spoken Verse Performance.
INTRO
Before you propose playing footsies,
With a person that seems kind of nice.
Be wary as they expose their tootsies.
There's a chance you're gonna pay the price.
VERSE 1
As we drove along on Sunday morning,
A singer lamented that she was cursed.
Fact is that, she even issued a warning,
And she put it in the very first verse.
VERSE 2
The girls up front said her name was Pink,
A singer which many millions adore.
All I know is that her shoes must stink.
Since her socks are likely doing an encore.
CHORUS
Hey, let's not be overly concerned.
I mean they could be as fresh as a rose.
But until your friend's foot smell has been discerned,
It's probably best to cover your up nose.
VERSE 3
Women are touchy about female artists.
They said it was wrong for me to berate her.
My advice is to try to lean the farthest,
From her feet, if you have a chance to date her.
VERSE 4
You have to agree, this is straight from reddit.
OK, maybe I'm sounding hysterical.
But remember that critics give extra credit,
When art is autobiographical.
CHORUS
Hey, let's not be overly concerned.
I mean they could be as fresh as a rose.
But until your friend's foot smell has been discerned,
It's probably best to cover your up nose.
VERSE 5
Speaking of which, let's determine what's behind,
That which plagues both bankers and the working class.
You won't need a forensic scientist to find,
That the problem can be traced back to Christmas.
VERSE 6
A putrid smell, similar to a litter box,
Can be blamed on aunts, uncles, or a parent.
If Santa's red bag contains too little sox,
The cause of the problem is apparent.
CHORUS
Hey, let's not be overly concerned.
I mean they could be as fresh as a rose.
But until your friend's foot smell has been discerned,
It's probably best to cover your up nose.
VERSE 7
I took a gal to see my folks on the farm.
The rural route is where they now dwell.
Taking off her shoes there couldn't do any harm.
The nearby stockyard should shield any smell.
VERSE 8
So the breeze would dissipate any foot funk.
I suggested we sit out front on the porch.
But Mama shouted: "Earl, we've got another skunk!"
And this one's bad, my nose hairs are scorched."
VERSE 9
Mama used to say: "Keep one foot on the floor,
To preserve the sanctity of the bedroom."
Now she's heard saying: "Keep your shoes on some more.
This kitchen shouldn't reek like a bathroom."
VERSE 10
So, even though she was Broadway's Peter Pan,
And was first runner up to Miss Oklahoma.
I had to confess I was not her biggest fan,
Thanks to the presence of cat piss aroma.
CHORUS
Hey, let's not be overly concerned.
I mean they could be as fresh as a rose.
But until your friend's foot smell has been discerned,
It's probably best to cover your up nose.
VERSE 11
So, boys and girls, let's review the news.
If romantic nights cut short make you pout.
Test their love by pulling off your socks and shoes,
Then count how long 'til they holler: "Peace Out!"
VERSE 12
To those who sing the stink foot blues,
Here's the fix, but it's kind of expensive.
Purchase 2 pairs of your favorite shoes,
Rotate them daily, and they'll be less offensive.
CHORUS
Hey, let's not be overly concerned.
I mean they could be as fresh as a rose.
But until your friend's foot smell has been discerned,
It's probably best to cover your up nose.
CLOSE
I wonder if the Library of Congress,
Has a poem on the subject of foot odor.
If not, this poem is proof of the progress,
That's been brought to his art by this 'oder'. [Def.: A writer of odes.]
The End
Copyright © Michael Kimbro 2017. All rights reserved.