"Official Scunthorpe United Attire", a poem about heavenly football fashion, and my love of authentic SUFC swag purchased from the Scunthorpe FC website's shop.

Official Scunthorpe United Attire [Part 2 of my SUFC Trilogy]

An original poem by Chrome Dome Mike Kimbro

Consider reading along to my Spoken Verse Performance.

VERSE 1

Allow me to share my personal field of dreams,

Which could change with the contests and with the teams.

I wanna be at home, midfield, and ground level.

Up 3-1 at halftime over The Red Devils,

They're down to 10 men, thanks to a striker's red card.

Yeah, topping that reality would have to be hard.

VERSE 2

But I've yet to receive my FA Cup affusion

So I'll opt for a seat at the Wembley conclusion.

I'll find nirvana in the home fans section,

Comforted by the presence of police protection.

And the single goal we score is so sublime,

Cause we just took the lead in stoppage time.

And while all The Iron faithful stand and cheer,

The opposing fans are crying in their beer.

But after 3 whistle chirps I begin to conspire.

Where's a pub I can show off my Scunthorpe attire?

VERSE 3

That Hell is hot, is a fact we can't refute.

And so heaven might be somewhat chilly.

Which is why men are always dressed in a suit,

When placed in a casket, surrounded by lilies.

But the problem I have with men's fashion,

Is that it goes through changes almost yearly.

So I've chosen a death robe which displays my passion,

For the soccer club which I love most dearly.

Yep, I'm wearing official Scunthorpe attire.

VERSE 4

Somewhere, up above our heads,

Beyond the clouds and the ozone layer,

Heaven’s out there in the void.

There I'll meet other folks who are dead.

Like my favorite pro soccer players,

From the many matches I have enjoyed.

VERSE 5

To insure that such a place is my next stop.

I try to avoid the morally abhorrent,

With weekly trips to church in my plan.

I'll be buried in my Scunthorpe sweat top.

Because, in my mind, it's just as important,

That soccer players know that I'm a fan.

CHORUS

The Man Upstairs,

Isn't easily impressed.

But his stylish gray hair,

Stands out on claret the best.

When I give up the ghost,

And my soul flies away,

All the heavenly hosts,

Will know right away,

Who loved Scunthorpe most,

Both home and away,

If my cadaver is correctly dressed.

VERSE 6

In hopes that my loved ones will dress me up fly,

Including my cool Claret and Blue jersey,

I've made a detailed account of my wishes.

So during my stay at the "sweet bye and bye",

I'll enjoy the perks once reserved for the clergy,

Since my home field was the most glorious of pitches.

CHORUS

The Man Upstairs,

Isn't easily impressed.

But his stylish gray hair,

Stands out on claret the best.

When I give up the ghost,

And my soul flies away,

All the heavenly hosts,

Will know right away,

Who loved The Iron most,

Both home and away,

If my cadaver is correctly dressed.

CLOSEOUT

While hell's fire is pouring over,

Every other football club's fan base.

Iron fans hope to be the guests of honor,

At an eternal celestial clambake,

Thanks to our official SUFC attire.

The End.