"The One Who Dropped The Ball", a poem about getting 5 Star ratings on a survey.

The One Who Dropped The Ball [Part 2 of my Employment Trilogy]

An original poem by Chrome Dome Mike Kimbro

Consider reading along to my Spoken Verse Performance.

VERSE 1

Hanging on the wall of my locker.

Is an "Employee of the Month" plaque.

Yeah, at work I'm one hell of a talker.

At home, just a literary hack.

VERSE 2

As a purveyor of boxes of stuff.

The bosses know that I've got skills.

But large commission checks just aren't enough.

Five star ratings are required to thrill.

VERSE 3

Perfect performance is expected,

So I'm forced to sit back and bide my time.

Someone fails to do their job as directed.

Only then can this salesman truly shine.

VERSE 4

So when our system works good.

And the supply chain has no kinks.

And buyers read instructions, like they should.

That's when my ratings tend to sink.

VERSE 5

In those times, when taken for granted,

I need customer satisfaction to fall.

Because when buyers are disenchanted,

This handsome white knight is always on call.

Yeah, I give thanks to the one who dropped the ball.

VERSE 6

Some appreciate the work that I do.

Like my wife, when I deposit the green.

But I wonder what she'd think, if she knew,

That I yearn for breakdowns in the machine.

VERSE 7

When the system runs at it's crappiest.

And customers pick up the phone to vent.

Rest assured, that's when I'm the happiest.

Because I enjoy it when my ear gets bent.

VERSE 8

I hear sweet music, when customers grumble.

Since it allows me I come to the rescue.

At weekly meetings, it's hard to be humble,

When my ratings soar, and I continue,

To give thanks to the one who dropped the ball.

VERSE 9

Sometimes it's easy to be a hero,

When 5 star ratings come with ease.

Where customer expectations are zero,

The bar is low, so I'm guaranteed to please.

VERSE 10

If you can't understand my message,

I'll provide a relationship parallel.

Did your old flame treat you to foot massage?

If not, it would be a cinch to ring your bell.

And as I rounded base number one,

I'd smile and offer thanks to the one,

The guy or gal who dropped the ball.

The End