Third Shirt Burt

 

Original song lyrics by Chrome Dome Mike Kimbro

 

Please read along to my Spoken Verse Performance.

 

 

VERSE 1                                                       

 

There once was a father,

 

A huge fan of soccer,

 

Whose club he loved substantially.

 

 

But work took his weekends,

 

Yet it paid high dividends,

 

So he helped his team financially.

 

 

VERSE 2

 

Buying 3 jerseys every year.

 

Shirts designed to make it clear,

 

The side that the fan's rooting for.

 

 

Now let's focus on the sizes,

 

Tiny letters can reveal surprises.

 

Clues as to what this father's shooting for.

 

 

 

 

 

 

VERSE 3

 

The large shirt was worn by his first born son.

 

Daddy's little clone, some said of that one.

 

Junior got the home color and pattern.

@ Junior got the best in color and pattern.

 

 

The middle child was medium size clad.

 

In yellow, green or white, she was quite glad,

 

When her jerseys were bright as a lantern.

 

 

 

 

 

Verse 4

 

The small, and peculiar, third shirt went,

 

To the child, some say, was an accident.

 

He and dad were as different as could be.

 

 

From acorn to oak, sibling 3 grew.

 

Sporting strange colors, his (whole) childhood through,

 

All the while, unaware that he would be...

 

 

CHORUS

 

Third Shirt Bert.

 

Third Shirt Bert.

 

He kept owners on red alert.

 

When athletes sought a good lawyer,

 

To get respect from their employer.

 

And score the most in pound sterling,

 

Whether playing football, rugby or curling,

 

They hired old Third Shirt Bert.

 

 

VERSE 5

 

In most cases, it's not too late,

 

For legal passion to become great,

 

So long as a third shirt you wear.

 

 

If you want your own legal practice,

 

Once you pick out a college campus,

 

Make sure Pre-Law is the major you declare.

 

 

VERSE 6

 

Lucky for you, a quick glance at ebay,

 

Leaves no doubt that you've chosen the right way.

 

Third shirts are cheaper, by almost half.

 

 

So, you can put a few in your closet.

 

Yeah! Pull out that home jersey, and toss it.

 

Or put on Craigslist, if it's autographed.

 

 

CHORUS

 

Third Shirt Bert,

 

Third Shirt Bert,

 

He kept owners on red alert.

 

When athletes sought a good lawyer,

 

To get respect from their employer.

 

And score the most in pound sterling,

 

Whether playing football, rugby or curling,

 

They hired old Third Shirt Bert.

 

 

VERSE 7

 

Congrats! You've put the sheepskin in a frame.

 

But don't forget one challenge still remains.

 

Until then, your prospects are a mystery.

 

 

Even those with many faults in their stars,

 

Will find success in passing the bar,

 

Confirming one's barrister mastery.

 

That is, of course,

 

If "third" describes their football stitchery.

 

 

CHORUS

 

Third Shirt Bert,

 

Third Shirt Bert,

 

He kept owners on red alert.

 

When athletes sought a good lawyer,

 

To get respect from their employer.

 

And score the most in pound sterling,

 

Whether playing football, rugby or curling,

 

They hired old Third Shirt Bert.

 

 

The End

 

 

Copyright Michael Kimbro 2021.  All rights reserved.