What if She Were A Spy?             [Part 3 of My People of Color Trilogy]

A poem by Chrome Dome Mike Kimbro

Consider reading along to my Spoken Verse Performance.

VERSE 1

From Coeur d’Alene comes a tale,

Of a gal unsure of her ethnicity.

Most look at this as another “fail”.

Merely a question of authenticity.

VERSE 2

Here in Texas we smell conspiracy,

In every secret which is uncovered.

On the chick from Spokane, here’s my theory:

What if Rachel was deep undercover?

CHORUS

What if she were a spy?

What if she were a spy?

No other excuse makes any sense.

It’s so abstruse, this Afro pretense.

But that pseudo-sister sure was sly.

And that’s why,

I’m thinking she was a spy.

VERSE 3

But what’s the group through which she’s employed?

Maybe the FBI, or some foreign nation?

But here’s a question she might avoid:

Could it be the Klan or the Aryan Nations?

VERSE 4

What if a phone call was used to activate?          [Note: The Soviets did that in Telefon.]

Which brings us to my personal favorite:

Could she have been a Manchurian candidate?

If I’m right, you know I’m gonna savor it.

BRIDGE

While all this might be new,

In Washington State or West Idaho.

Here in North Texas all we do,

Is point to Van Winkle's best video.        [Note:  Here's the Jim Carrey parody.]

VERSE 5

When the facts are in, and it’s like I’ve guessed,

Then there’ll be two men which you can thank.

Of course, there’s Jeff Selle of the Coeur d’Alene Press.

And Chrome Dome Mike at the Texas Think Tank.

VERSE 6

But while Jeff is collecting his Pulitzer Prize,

I've bought into Rachel's unique persuasion.

I'll fight to the death so you can exercise,

Your right to be a Jew or an Asian.

CHORUS

What if she were a spy?

What if she were a spy?

No other excuse makes any sense.

It’s so abstruse, this Afro pretense.

But that pseudo-sister sure was sly.

And that’s why,

I’m thinking she was a spy.

VERSE 7

You know I can't wait to see SNL spoof,

Rachel's infamous misrepresentation.

But folks, please don't throw anything on the roof,

Of Coeur d’Alene's new tourist destination.

VERSE 8

But I can understand her motivation.

When my hair grayed, my self esteem took a dive.

I shaved my head.  She stopped being Caucasian.

Now we're sevens, up from being fives.

CHORUS

What if she were a spy?

What if she were a spy?

No other excuse makes any sense.

It’s so abstruse, this Afro pretense.

But that pseudo-sister sure was sly.

And that’s why,

I’m thinking she was a spy.

Copyright © Michael Kimbro 2015.  All rights reserved.

My favorite song with a Coeur d’Alene, Idaho reference is "Jane" by Bushwhack, samples of which can be heard on the page for my love song lyrics "Jen, Gin, Gin!".

Thank you for your time and attention.