Where Are You?                        [Part 1 of my Telephone Trilogy]

A poem by Chrome Dome Mike Kimbro

Consider reading along to my Spoken Verse Performance!

VERSE 1

Back in the day, if a suspicious spouse,

Wished to track his wife, when she left the house,

He just hired a private investigator.

It was like in the movie “China Town”,

The PI followed the wife driving around.

But today, husbands just say three words to her.

Spoiler alert!  It’s not “I love you”…

Where are you?

I asked, where are you?

So you think I'm overbearing?

Well, excuse me for caring,

So…where are you?

VERSE 2

When “where are you” is what they ask,

Without the least attempt to mask,

Their desire to assume command.

It’s up to you to take them to task.

Before they have a chance to bask,

In the glow of having the upper hand.

Or I guess you could just answer…

CHORUS

Where are you?

I asked, where are you?

So you think I'm overbearing?

Well, excuse me for caring,

So…where are you?

BRIDGE

The honeymoon is over, when instead of “How are you?”

Your call is answered with “Where the hell are you?”

Control…

Yeah, it‘s the main reason for that.

The role…

In store for you is ‘doormat’.

So decide what you're gonna,

Say to your bwana,

When he calls to have a little chat.

Those chats always start out...

Where are you?

I asked, where are you?

So you think I'm overbearing?

Well, excuse me for caring,

So…where are you?

VERSE 3

A relationship should be based on trust.

And this Spanish Inquisition is unjust.

Living with the anxiety can make you sick.

But if you hear annoyance in your Master’s voice

There's no use in avoidance, if you don't have a choice.

So go on and answer, and answer quick.

And today’s big question is…

Where are you?

I asked, where are you?

So you think I'm overbearing?

Well, excuse me for caring,

So…where are you?

VERSE 4

He'll bring up his abandonment issues,

You'll pass a box of Kleenex tissues,

Then think back to his most recent cry.

Yeah, you've been around enough to know

This is what the police call his M. O.

And he'll seek help...after pigs can fly.

Until then you'll keep hearing...

Where are you?

I asked, where are you?

So you think I'm overbearing?

Well, excuse me for caring,

So…where are you?

VERSE 5

But with so many ways to track you today

If it seems the big question has gone away.

There could be a GPS in your car or phone.

So when your spouse says with a smile:

"Give me your phone for a little while.

To download a really cool ring tone."

In the short time it takes to down load the app,

‘Track The Person’ helps your husband map.

Your movements when away from home.

So there’s no need to ask…

Where are you?

I asked, where are you?

So you think I'm overbearing?

Well, excuse me for caring,

So…where are you?

VERSE 6

But you don’t need that aggravation,

So go to Settings, then Locations,

And disable that God damned GPS.

Now if your spouse isn’t a trusting soul.

It’s probably time to dump that troll.

But don’t expect him to acquiesce.

But at least he'll be asking someone else…

Where are you?

I asked, where are you?

So you think I'm overbearing?

Well, excuse me for caring,

So…where are you?

VERSE 7

There are those who require constant attention,

Like that best selling author Josh Hamilton,

Cause their impulse control is hard to admire.

So if you really need a remote monitor

I’d advise that you employ a chauffeur

Who can compile travel reports for your sire.

Who always wants to know…

Where are you?

I asked, where are you?

So you think I'm overbearing?

Well, excuse me for caring,

So…where are you?

Why am I asking?

Well, I just passed this car.

It looked just like your car.

And there was a brunette driving it.

Just like you.

Hey, I thought it was you.

So, uhh, where are you?

The End

Copyright © Michael Kimbro 2013.  All rights reserved.