Yoga Pants                   [Part 2 of my Female Trilogy]

Song lyrics by Chrome Dome Mike Kimbro

Structure:  The accent points align for all 6 verses.

Consider reading along to my Spoken Verse Performance!

INTRO

For something offbeat,

Consider this riddle:

What covers complete,

Yet conceals so little,

Comes in various hues,

And is put on to enhance?”

Now, if you said paint,

You wouldn’t be wrong.

But that answer ain’t,

What I need for this song,

Cause the only answer I can use…

Is:  Yoga Pants!

VERSE 1

I got my girl real mad

I gazed too long at her sister

It wasn't that friggin' bad?!?

Hey, you'd have thought I'd kissed her.

But she’s packed her things,

Loaded up all her plants.

CHORUS 1

I tried my best not to stare,

But it’s pretty damn hard.

Cause she was dressed in a pair.

Of skin tight leotards.

So won’t you give me one more chance?

But if you're hell bent on leaving,

I better start the grieving.

Cause this might be,

The last I see,

Of you, in your yoga pants.

VERSE 2

Girls know that real tight clothes,  

Turn up healthy male libidos.

If you think your girl's lazy,

You’re nothin’ short of crazy.  

So take her to,  

Get some more yoga pants. 

CHORUS

I try my best not to stare,

But it’s pretty damn hard.

When girls are dressed in a pair,

Of skin tight leotards.

So won’t you give me one more chance?

But if you're hell bent on leaving,

I better start the grieving.

'Cause this might be,

The last I see,

Of you, in your yoga pants.

BRIDGE

Now guys...

Next time that you book a flight,

Make sure that the seating’s right.

They say you’re safest in a rear pew,

So buy your tickets in advance.

I used to sit by the window,

So I could snore into a pillow.

Or even look out as we flew,

Over the US, England or France.

But then I discovered,

That an isle seat offered,

A much more scenic view,

Thanks to those yoga pants.

VERSE 3

I know that you must go,

But please do me one last favor.

Could you walk away slow,  

And give me time to savor,  

The sight of you,  

In your yoga pants.

CHORUS

I try my best not to stare,

But it’s pretty damn hard.

When girls are dressed in a pair,

Of skin tight leotards.

So won’t you give me one more chance?

But if you're hell bent on leavin',

I better start the grievin'.

Cause this might be,

(Oh baby don't go)

The last I see,

(Say it ain't so)

Of you, in your yoga pants.

Image credits:  Visit Sweaty Betty, Well & Good NYC, and dancer Nancy Osboldeston    

VERSE 4  (optional)

Now go to Well And Good,    [Note:  at www.wellandgoodnyc.com]

If health is your main obsession.

Go there now, yeah you should.

For all things Fitness Fashion.

In no time flat you'll be,

Buyin' more yoga pants.

Image credits:  Visit Emily Skye's Lifestyle Site and Modeling Site       

VERSE 5  (optional)

From out of New South Wales,

We bring you the finest Sheila.

Living proof burnettes pre-vail.

I doubt she needs concealer.

It's Emily,

Rockin' those yoga pants.

VERSE 6  (very optional)

An artist must ex-plore.

Or risk that his art is done for.

Time was right to react,

And finally get in contact,

With my female side. 

So I wore yoga pants.

CHORUS

I try my best not to stare,

But it’s pretty damn hard.

When girls are dressed in a pair,

Of skin tight leotards.

So won’t you give me one more chance?

But if you're hell bent on leavin',

I better start the grievin'.

Cause this might be,

(Oh baby don't go)

The last I see,

(Say it ain't so)

Of you, in your yoga pants.

CLOSE

I wanna know what awaits,

There behind those Pearly Gates.

What’s the heavenly dress code,

Assuming that’s where I advance?

Now I realize that it might sound wrong.

But eternity is pretty darn long.

And I’m afraid the clock will be slowed…

In a place without yoga pants.

Copyright © Michael Kimbro 2014.  All rights reserved.

Image credit:  Visit Sweaty Betty

Lastly, here's a poem about yoga pants by Amanda which looks at the issue from the female point of view:

http://myparentsense.com/a-poem-to-yoga-pants/