Claret and Blue [Part 1 of my SUFC Trilogy]
Original song lyrics by Chrome Dome Mike Kimbro
A relyric (parody) of The Beatles "With A Little Help From My Friends", by John Lennon and Paul McCartney.
Consider reading along to my Spoken Verse Performance recording.
VERSE 1
Poor Bono pined,
For a place in his mind,
Where the signage for streets has been purged.
That sure ain't me,
Cause the best place to be,
Is where Claret and Sky Blue roads merge.
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VERSE 2
I'd like to know,
As you flex on your foe,
Was your last fisticuff in 8th grade?
When left to fate,
Stand offs might escalate.
In the end, you could need a band-aid.
VERSE 3
Blood on your clothes,
From your mouth, and your nose.
When your face bruised the fist of the goon.
One way to daunt.
Is to dress well, and flaunt,
Killer threads in sky blue and maroon.
VERSE 4
Those who are fond,
Of New York, and Milan,
Will be hooked by a look from football.
This ain't a joke.
Yeah, the Bard of Bespoke,
Has a plan for the fan in us all.
VERSE 5
Yo, it occurred,
We could split from the herd.
Every day by the way we appear.
Dress for success.
And accept nothing less,
When the shirt and the tie make it clear.
CHORUS #1
That you pledge,
To the teams that wear distinct hues.
On the edge,
Cheering burgundy and sky blue.
Swing a sledge!
Forget being true to one crew.
Enjoy the sweet freedom!
Of Claret and Blue fandom!
Come on and join the lucky few.
BRIDGE #1 [Note: Best explained by this Jess Cartner-Morley article]
If, at this point, you're baulking,
Read on and learn from this rant.
Those who use color blocking.
Say blues are made for egg plant.
VERSE 6
I'm so engrossed,
By the game I love most,
Barclays'® EPL does it so well.
Every match played,
Is, at least, work delayed.
While a few are without parallel. [Note: Here's one such match.]
VERSE 7
Full attack mode,
Employed much, seldom slowed.
Yeah, the Brit's pace of play is quite brisk.
So close to gone,
Due to schemes that were wrong.
Big teams put English football at risk.
VERSE 8
Now and again,
Rivals stop being friends.
And expect that supporters stay mute.
Then there was once,
When the fans and the runts.
Said: "Enough!", to the bank and the suits.
VERSE 9
Common denom, [Note: common denominator]
Of those asked to the prom,
Was the sense they're too precious to fail.
Big teams all hate,
The mere term: "relegate",
Or the chance that more Leicesters prevail.
CHORUS #2
Chase Bank® thought,
Brits and Yankees shared the same view.
It was rot!
Players did their best to eschew.
Cause they're bought.
Friggin' Average Joe stopped the coup.
Enjoy the sweet freedom!
Of Claret and Blue fandom!
Come on, and join the lucky few.
BRIDGE 2
Let's discuss deeper issues.
Did Brexit play a small role?
Does the Pontiff wear red shoes?
It made Brits keen on control.
VERSE 10 - Aston Villa FC®
Here is my dream,
That the top soccer team,
Is adorned in blue with burgundy.
I could pronounce,
Every name that's annouced.
Like Grealich or Elmohamady.
VERSE 11 - West Ham United FC®
To hit the mark,
Stop by Queen Liz's Park,
Where a Newham club raised up our souls.
With strong defense,
West Ham fought hard against,
Millwall Bricks, and of course, rival goals.
VERSE 12 - Burnley Football Club®
You won't believe,
All the love I receive,
In the jersey of Burnley's Chris Wood.
Girls smile and wink.
Even more than you'd think.
Poor old Chris wishes he looked this good.
VERSE 13 - A 4-4-2 Tribute
Remember when,
England canned Swede Coach Sven.
But the Four-Four-Two's not in the past!
With Sean as boss,
Burnley's under the cosh,
But each game's like a damn masterclass.
CHORUS #1
Yeah, I pledge,
To the teams that wear distinct hues.
On the edge,
Cheering burgundy and sky blue.
Swing a sledge!
Forget being true to one crew.
Enjoy the sweet freedom!
Of Claret and Blue fandom!
Come on and join the lucky few.
BRIDGE #3
But it comes down to owners.
Now [that] I'm "The American't". [Note: Sadly, American ownership puts a cloud over Burnley, West Ham, & Aston Villa.]
One's known for boobs and boners. [Note: Strike 2 for West Ham United]
So...
Who else wears blue and egg plant?
VERSE 14
Face it, we must,
There are problems with trust.
Morgan's® bank wants the system locked down.
Cause, for Christ's sake,
Balance sheets are at stake!
Got a tip, and now I'm Scunthorpe bound.
BRIDGE #4 - Scunthorpe United FC
Luring smart bettor's money.
It's Lincolnshire's gemstone.
When you've got Scunny Bunny®,
Fans don't fret hopping alone.
VERSE 15
Very few stayed,
After Scunthorpe sought aid.
So the roster is fresh as a rose.
Iron faithful,
At the pitch are greatful,
Cause the season improves as it goes.
VERSE 16
I'm sure you'll find,
Holding four of a kind,
Is preferred to just clinging to one.
Now, please join me,
In the land of the free,
Where the colors are second to none.
CHORUS #1
And we'll pledge,
To the teams that wear distinct hues.
On the edge,
Cheering burgundy and sky blue.
Swing a sledge!
Forget being true to one crew.
Enjoy the sweet freedom!
Of Claret and Blue fandom!
Come on and join the lucky few.
The End
Copyright © Michael Kimbro 2021. All rights reserved.
Recommended reading: This Craigslist Advert
PS - I sometimes include what I call "poetic remnants" following a work. These are passages which didn't make the cut, for whatever reason.
This poetic remnant is about an angler who took his C & B passion too far:
VERSE - "Fishing Lure Colors"
Out on the sea,
Neptune god heard my plea.
Then he chuckled and called me a loon.
"You'll get no joy,
If the lure you employ,
Has been painted up blue and maroon."
Here's a poetic remnant that was eliminated because it was too much about the author:
VERSE - "retribution"
Prone to throw fits.
Without pause, I would spit.
At the thought of the scoundrels at fault.
More acting out,
Were the ideas I'd spout.
Like let's top all their turfs with asphalt.
Alright. Thanks for your time and consideration.
Worthy of more than a mention is the away jersey of Mersyside's Tranmere Rovers FC. IMHO, it benefits greatly from one resplendent logo:
