Claret and Blue                      [Part 1 of my SUFC Trilogy]

 

Original song lyrics by Chrome Dome Mike Kimbro

 

A relyric (parody) of The Beatles "With A Little Help From My Friends", by John Lennon and Paul McCartney.

 

Please read along to my Spoken Verse Performance recording.

 

A cool all silk tie made in China for Mazzoni.

 

 

 

VERSE 1

 

I'd like to know,

 

As you flex on your foe,

 

Was your last fisticuff in 8th grade?

 

 

When left to fate,

 

Stand offs might escalate.

 

In the end, you could need a band-aid.

 

 

 

VERSE 2

 

Blood on your clothes,

 

From your mouth, and your nose.

 

When your face bruised the fist of the goon.

 

 

One way to daunt.

 

Is to dress well, and flaunt,

 

Killer threads in sky blue and maroon.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

VERSE 3

 

Those who are fond,

 

Of New York, and Milan,

 

Will be hooked by a look from football.

 

 

This ain't a joke.

 

Yeah, the Bard of Bespoke,

 

Has a plan for the fan in us all.

 

 

VERSE 4

 

Yo, it occurred,

 

We could split from the herd.

 

Every day by the way we appear.

 

 

Dress for success.

 

And accept nothing less,

 

When the shirt and the tie make it clear.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Showing off a maroon paisley neck tie by Tasso Elba, hand made in China with 100% silk.

 

 

 

CHORUS #1

 

That you pledge,

 

To the teams that wear distinct hues.

 

On the edge,

 

Cheering burgundy and sky blue.

 

Swing a sledge!

 

Forget being true to one crew.

 

 

Enjoy the sweet freedom!

 

Of Claret and Blue fandom!

 

Come on and join the lucky few.

 

 

 

 

 

BRIDGE #1               [Note: Best explained by this Jess Cartner-Morley article]

 

Here's the egg plant area on the produce rack of a Louisville grocery store.

If, at this point, you're baulking,

 

Read on and learn from this rant.

 

Those who use color blocking.

 

Say blues are made for egg plant.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here's a neck tie in blue by Andrew Fezza of New York.

VERSE 5

 

I'm so engrossed,

 

By the game I love most,

 

Barclays' EPL does it so well.

 

Every match played,

 

Is, at least, work delayed.

 

While a few are without parallel.

 

 

VERSE 6

 

Full attack mode,

 

Employed much, seldom slowed.

 

Yeah, the Brit's pace of play is quite brisk.

 

So close to gone,

 

Due to schemes that were wrong.

 

Big teams put English football at risk.

 

Silk neck tie by Alfa Perry.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

VERSE 7

 

Common denom,        [Note: common denominator]

 

Of those asked to the prom,

 

Was the sense they're too precious to fail.

 

 

Big teams all hate,

 

The mere term: "relegate",

 

Or the chance that more Leicesters prevail.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

VERSE 8

 

Now and again,

 

Rivals stop being friends.

 

And expect that supporters stay mute.

 

 

Then there was once,

 

When the fans and the runts.

 

Said: "Enough!", to the bank and the suits.

 

 

 

 

 

Here's a maroon neck tie by Mazzoni.

 

 

 

CHORUS #2

 

Chase Bank thought,

 

Brits and Yankees shared the same view.

 

It was rot!

 

Players did their best to eschew.

 

Cause they're bought.

 

Friggin' Average Joe stopped the coup.

 

 

Enjoy the sweet freedom!

 

Of Claret and Blue fandom!

 

Come on, and join the lucky few.

 

 

BRIDGE 2

 

Let's discuss deeper issues.

 

Did Brexit play a small role?

 

Does the Pontiff wear red shoes?

 

It made Brits keen on control.

 

 

Here's Chrome Dome Mike Kimbro with a Chinese crafted light blue neck tie made of pure silk with white mini-dots by Luciano Verdi.

 

 

 

 

 

VERSE 9 - Aston Villa FC

 

Here is my dream,

 

That the top soccer team,

 

Is adorned in blue with burgundy.

 

 

I could pronounce,

 

Every name that's annouced.

 

Like Grealich or Elmohamady.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Modelling a Geoffrey Beene new tie in paisley.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

VERSE 10 - West Ham United FC

 

To hit the mark,

 

Stop by Queen Liz's Park,

 

Where a Newham club lifts up our souls.

 

 

With strong defense,

 

West Ham fought hard against,

 

Millwall Bricks, and of course, rival goals.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Geoffrey Beene polka dot sky blue neck tie made in China.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

VERSE 11 - Burnley Football Club

 

You won't believe,

 

All the love I receive,

 

In the jersey of Burnley's Chris Wood.

 

 

Girls smile and wink.

 

Even more than you'd think.

 

Poor old Chris wishes he looked this good.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rocking a tie by Calvin Klein, a male model shows off colors Maroon and Blue, or Burgundy and Blue, which is celebrated in this soccer poem.

 

CHORUS #1

 

Yeah, I pledge,

 

To the teams that wear distinct hues.

 

On the edge,

 

Cheering burgundy and sky blue.

 

Swing a sledge!

 

Forget being true to one crew.

 

 

Enjoy the sweet freedom!

 

Of Claret and Blue fandom!

 

Come on and join the lucky few.

 

 

 

 

 

BRIDGE #3

 

But it comes down to owners.

 

Now [that] I'm "The American't".           [Note: Sadly, American ownership puts a cloud over Burnley, West Ham, & Aston Villa.]

 

One's known for boobs and boners.          [Note: Strike 2 for West Ham United]

 

A jersey of the Scunthorpe United FC of Lincolnshire,East Midlands, England.

So...

 

Who else wears blue and egg plant?

 

 

 

 

VERSE 12 - Scunthorpe United FC

 

Face it, we must,

 

There are problems with trust.

 

Morgan's bank wants the system locked down.

 

 

Cause, for Christ's sake,

 

Balance sheets are at stake!

 

Got a tip, and now I'm Scunthorpe bound.

 

 

 

BRIDGE #4

 

Luring smart bettor's money.

 

It's Lincolnshire's gemstone.

 

When you've got Scunny Bunny,

 

Fans don't fret hopping alone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

VERSE 13

 

I'm sure you'll find,

 

Holding four of a kind,

 

Is preferred to just clinging to one.

 

 

Now, please join me,

 

In the land of the free,

 

Where the colors are second to none.

 

 

CHORUS #1

 

And we'll pledge,

 

To the teams that wear distinct hues.

 

On the edge,

 

Cheering burgundy and sky blue.

 

Swing a sledge!

 

Forget being true to one crew.

 

 

Enjoy the sweet freedom!

 

Of Claret and Blue fandom!

 

Come on and join the lucky few.

 

 

 

The End

 

 

Copyright Michael Kimbro 2021.  All rights reserved.

 

 

Recommended reading:

 

These Craigslist adverts: For Sale & Want To Buy

 

 

With a beautiful hand crafted neck tie made of 100 percent silk by Kenneth Cole Reaction.

 

PS - I sometimes include what I call "poetic remnants" following a work.  These are passages which didn't make the cut, for whatever reason.

 

This remnant contains a nod to Burnley Coach Sean Dyche, and his reliance on that most classic of football formations. But with the "2" being Barnes and Wood, who can blame him!?! Not me.

 

 

VERSE - "A 4-4-2 Tribute"

 

Remember when,

 

England canned Swede Coach Sven.

 

But the Four-Four-Two's not in the past!

 

 

Burnley's big boss,

 

Keeps 'em under the cosh,

 

But each game's like a damn masterclass.

 

 

You'll find more reality explaining in this remnant, and there's already too much of that at work in my work about those most compatible of colors:

 

 

VERSE - "The Iron in 2021-2022"

 

Very few stayed,

 

After Scunthorpe sought aid.

 

Now the roster is fresh as a rose.

 

 

Iron faithful,

 

At the pitch are greatful,

 

Cause the season improves as it goes.

Visit the Native Sons Goods website at: https://www.nativesonsgoods.com/guitar-straps

Here's a cool guitar strap in claret and blue, by the good folks at Native Sons Good of Albequerque, New Mexico, USA.

 

And here's a poetic remnant about an angler who took his C & B passion too far:

 

 

VERSE - "Fishing Lure Color"

 

Out on the sea,

 

Neptune god heard my plea.

 

Then he chuckled and called me a loon.

 

 

You'll get no joy,

 

If the lure you employ,

 

Has been painted up blue and maroon.

 

 

Here's a poetic remnant that was eliminated because it was too much about theh author:

 

 

VERSE - "retribution"

 

Prone to throw fits.

 

Without pause, I would spit.

 

At the thought of the scoundrels at fault.

 

 

More acting out,

 

Were the ideas I'd spout.

 

Like let's top all their turfs with asphalt.

 

 

Alright.  Thanks for your time and consideration.

 

 

 

A cool all silk tie made in China for Mazzoni.