Claret and Blue                      [Part 3 of my Fashion Trilogy]

 

Original song lyrics by Chrome Dome Mike Kimbro

 

A relyric (parody) of The Beatles "With A Little Help From My Friends", by John Lennon and Paul McCartney.

 

Please read along to either my Spoken Verse Performance or my Sad Singing Attempt recordings.

 

Clarification: This Craigslist Ad.

 

 

Rocking a tie by Geoffrey Beene, with a nice light blue dress shirt with button down collar.

VERSE 1

 

I'd like to know,

 

As you flex on your foe,

 

Was your last fisticuff in 8th grade?

 

Leave it to fate,

 

Watch the shit escalate,

 

In the end, you might need a band-aid.

 

 

VERSE 2

 

Blood on your clothes,

 

From your mouth, and your nose.

 

When your face bruised the fist of the goon.

 

One way to daunt.

 

Is to dress well, and flaunt,

 

Killer threads in sky blue and maroon.

 

With a beautiful hand crafted neck tie made of 100 percent silk by Kenneth Cole Reaction.

 

VERSE 3

 

Those who are fond,

 

Of New York, and Milan,

 

Will be hooked by a look from football.

 

This ain't a joke.

 

Yeah, the Bard of Bespoke,

 

Has a plan for the fan in us all.

 

 

VERSE 4

 

Yo, it occurred,

 

We could split from the herd.

 

Every day by the way we appear.

 

Dress for success.

 

And accept nothing less,

 

When the shirt and the tie make it clear.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Showing off a maroon paisley neck tie by Tasso Elba, hand made in China with 100% silk.

 

 

 

CHORUS #1

 

That you pledge,

 

To the teams that wear distinct hues.

 

On the edge,

 

Cheering burgundy and sky blue.

 

Swing a sledge!

 

Forget being true to one crew.

 

 

Enjoy the sweet freedom!

 

Of Claret and Blue fandom!

 

Come on and join the lucky few.

 

 

 

 

 

BRIDGE #1               [Note: Best explained by this Jess Cartner-Morley article]

 

Here's the egg plant area on the produce rack of a Louisville grocery store.

If, at this point, you're baulking,

 

Read on and learn from this rant.

 

Those who use color blocking.

 

Say blues are made for egg plant.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here's a maroon neck tie by Mazzoni.

VERSE 5

 

I'm so engrossed,

 

By the game I love most,

 

Barkley's E.P L. does it so well.

 

Every match played,

 

Is, at least, work delayed.

 

While a few are without parallel.

 

 

VERSE 6

 

Full attack mode,

 

Employed much, seldom slowed.

 

Yeah, the Brit's pace of play is quite brisk.

 

Quite nearly gone,

 

Due to schemes that were wrong.

 

Big teams put English football at risk.

 

Here's a neck tie in blue by Andrew Fezza of New York.

 

 

 

 

VERSE 7

 

Now and again,

 

Rivals stop being friends.

 

And expect that supporters stay mute.

 

Then there was once,

 

When the fans and the runts.

 

Said: "Enough!", to the bank and the suits.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A cool all silk tie made in China for Mazzoni.

 

 

CHORUS #2

 

Yeah, they thought,

 

Brits and Yankees shared the same view.

 

It was rot!

 

Players did their best to eschew.

 

Cause they're bought.

 

Friggin' Average Joe stopped the coup.

 

 

Enjoy the sweet freedom!

 

Of Claret and Blue fandom!

 

Come on, and join the lucky few.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Silk neck tie by Alfa Perry.

 

 

 

 

 

 

VERSE 8

 

Prone to throw fits.

 

Without pause, I would spit.

 

At the thought of the scoundrels at fault.

 

More acting out,

 

Were the ideas I'd spout,

 

Like why not swap their turf with asphalt.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wearing a maroon neck tie by JS Black and Company.

 

 

CHORUS #1

 

Now I pledge,

 

To the teams that wear distinct hues.

 

On the edge,

 

Cheering burgundy and sky blue.

 

Swing a sledge!

 

Forget being true to one crew.

 

 

Enjoy the sweet freedom!

 

Of Claret and Blue fandom!

 

Come on and join the lucky few.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The back of the jersey of the Aston Villa player Ahmed E. Elmohamady

 

VERSE 9 - Aston Villa FC

 

Here is my dream,

 

That the top soccer team,

 

Is adorned in blue with burgundy.

 

 

I could pronounce,

 

Every name that's annouced.

 

Like Grealich or Elmohamady.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Modelling a Geoffrey Beene new tie in paisley.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

VERSE 10 - West Ham United FC

 

To hit the mark,

 

Stop by Queen Liz's Park,

 

Where a Newham club lifts up our souls.

 

 

With strong defense,

 

West Ham fought hard against,

 

Millwall Bricks, and of course, rival goals.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Geoffrey Beene polka dot sky blue neck tie made in China.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

VERSE 11 - Burnley Football Club

 

You won't believe,

 

All the love I receive,

 

In the jersey of Burnley's Chris Wood.

 

 

Girls smile and wink.

 

Even more than you'd think.

 

Poor old Chris wishes he looked this good.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here's Chrome Dome Mike Kimbro with a Chinese crafted light blue neck tie made of pure silk with white mini-dots by Luciano Verdi.

 

 

 

 

 

BRIDGE #2

 

* * * ** **

Hey, let's talk about owners?

 

* * * ** * *

There's more than blue and egg plant.

 

* * * ** **

One got rich filming boners.  [Note: West Ham United's David Sullivan]

 

* * * ** * *

And I'm an A-mer-i-can't.           [Note: American ownership rules out all 3 clubs.]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rocking a tie by Calvin Klein, a male model shows off colors Maroon and Blue, or Burgundy and Blue, which is celebrated in this soccer poem.

VERSE 12

 

Face it, we must,

 

There are prob-lems with trust.

 

Morgan's bank wants the system se-cured.

 

Cause, for Christ's sake,

 

Balance sheets are at stake!

 

Now I pledge to old Scun-thrope: "I'm yours."

 

 

BRIDGE #3

 

* * * ** **

Lur-ing smart bettor's money.

 

* * * ** * *

It's Lin-coln-shire's gem-stone.

 

* * * ** **

When you've got Scunny Bunny,

 

* * * ** * *

Fans don't fret hopping a-lone.

 

 

Now, everbody sing!

 

Dressed up finely in a tie from the Steve Harvey Crown Collection with a burgandy shirt, and prescription glasses with frame by Armani Express.

 

CLOSE OUT

 

You'll never hop alone!

 

You'll never hop alone!

 

As a Scunthorpe fan,

 

You'll never hop alone!

 

This world can be unfair.

 

Yeah, the future can be dark.

 

So check out a goofy hare,

 

And his friends at Glanford Park.

 

They never hop alone!

 

They never hop alone!

 

Scunthorpe United fans,

 

They never hop alone!

 

 

The End

 

 

Copyright Michael Kimbro 2021.  All rights reserved.